I talked about the Airshow. Quite openly. It was the day I had been working towards for ages. Just to get out to it. And I did. It wasn't great, I didn't have a great time. We'll not be going back next year.
That aside, what I haven't talked about here is the event I've been working even harder to get to.
This event is tomorrow. I'm, even at this stage, delaying the organisation of getting there though I'm determined to go. As most of you know I now write and edit a wedding business blog The QW. Well, Quirky Weddings are hosting an EPIC Alternative Wedding Fair tomorrow in.....
The Waterfront Hall, Belfast.
At the last count there were 88 exhibitors. Groupon sold out the half price entry tickets. 500 tickets. Can you even conceive of the amount of people who may attend?
It'll be the biggest event I'll have been to since Reading Festival in 2005. 3 months of preparation for this one day. Not only the biggest event I'll have been to in a long time but also my very first event as a Blogger and in my new role as writer and editor of the Quirky Weddings Blog.
Apart from the reasons we are all aware of already I felt I needed to share with you another aspect to why I find it so difficult heading out.
People assume it's just the Mental Health aspect of things, that ''it's all in your head'' scenario. It's not. I assure you of this. You can be guaranteed things go wrong. It's the way it's always been. I'm not even jesting a little bit.
There were a catalogue of failings last week in heading out to the Airshow. During the week we needed to still maintain a scheduled fortnightly trip to Tesco. Here's a run down of how a usual ''going out'' scenario pans out.
Burnt my fingers on the ancient straighteners. Got in the car. Down by SuperValu the traffic was backed right up. Riley was giving off in the back of the car. I was getting stressed at this point. Went and left a form in to a business, only afterwards realising I'd filled it out wrong. Went to pick up another form and the place was closed for staff training. Went to the jewellers who told me they couldn't take links out of the watch I had brought in. Tripped over a curb. Got to Tesco, and it just seemed one of those days where everyone was getting in my way and barging into my personal space. With Lee and Riley in the car on the way home and some idiot near had the back off us with his dangerous driving. Cue Lee and I both nearly vomiting with sheer panic. Got home, realised I'd forgotten the majority of what I'd needed and then proceeded to drop everything else I picked up that day. And trip some more.
Ok so none of it was overly catastrophic but it does feel sometimes like the world doesn't like to make it easy for me. I know I know, the world is the world. It's not going to bend to my will. I'm agoraphobic, not delusional. But, this is the way it always is, the way it's always been. If I'm due to go out, things will go wrong.
In the lead up to tomorrow, I've gotten a head cold, my hip is on fire (more so than usual), my straighteners aren't working so I've no idea if my hair will look presentable, I can feel a spot coming on, I haven't even checked train times and my Mum has landed up.
Not catastrophic by any means but again, it's not being made easy. I'm sure a lot of you will look at this and think, ''pull yourself together, that's a normal day for me'' and it might well be but my nerves simply cannot handle these occurrences as well as the majority. That's just the way it is.
So as well as wondering about what else will go wrong I'm having to deal with the actual agoraphobia side of things. What if I do have a panic attack on the train, getting to the Waterfront or worse, during the actual event. I won't lie, I am petrified of this happening. Panic attacks are mortifying. I'm lucky in having a great and terribly supportive team behind me with Quirky Weddings who are openly rooting for me. Their support is quite frankly, amazing. And honestly? The main reason I want to go. To show them I'm so grateful to them for putting their faith in me as a writer and blogger. And so I will.
I will be attending The Alternative Wedding Fair tomorrow.
It'll be ok. It will. Because I'll have SO much to look at and take notes about I'll be far too busy to panic. Plus I'm devising a playlist for the train. Classical, soothing music with possibly a bit of RATM to get me in the fighting spirit.
So with that all done and dusted and you all finally filled in, here's a little of what I can expect to see tomorrow (as well as what you can if you're popping by!)
Co Couture Chocolate
The Vintage Bride power duo who do hair and makeup applications for your big day. These lovely girls have even offered to make me up some time <3
A Paper Rose
Dreamglobes - A life size Snowglobe!
My Little Hat Box - cannot wait to meet one of my Twitter buddies!
Yes, that is an owl! NI School of Falconry will also be there on the day!
So plenty to keep my mind busy and that's not even half of it! We have break dancers, a drum circle, location exhibitors and Vintage Rocks will also be exhibiting!
It's going to be amazing. There is no doubt.
One more amazing thing I have to see? The QW will have it's own 10ft banner advertising the address of the blog I now write in a professional capacity.
It all sounds far too good to be true, doesn't it!? What could possibly go wrong......
Sunday, let's be having you. It's finally time to write this:
The Agoraphobic Fashionista Debuts
oh noooo! What on earth to wear!?!?!?