I see these posts doing the rounds every now and again and the time never felt right before but today I've finally taken the plunge and written a letter to my 16 year old self.
*takes immediate break to make a cup of tea*
Dear Me;
I know life may seem quite dark right now, it may seem there is no way through to light again but there is. Of that I assure you. Life can truly be a wonderful gift if you let it be. First and Foremost, snap out of the love affair you're having with your own misery and look at all the good surrounding you. Take a moment to just sit and think of the positives.
Stop letting boys and do not let men dictate to you. Demand respect and behave accordingly. And yes, sometimes, staying on the sidelines of social occasions will earn you the title of Ice Queen so talk to someone, anyone at those gigs. Relax, be yourself. You're not that bad. In fact, scrap that. You're a good person. Don't allow yourself to be treated as anything less.
Keep writing! Even if it *is* just for fun. Don't let anyone tell you it won't amount to anything. Do it for the love of it. Find joy in any little thing you do and stop taking everything so seriously. Be proud of your scribbles, looking back in years to come you'll wish you had kept more of them.
Stop saying you don't believe in Love. You're 16. Of course you don't really understand it yet. People will constantly tell you that you don't understand it and you'll see it as a challenge - it's not. It's kind hearted advice that you should really listen to. Please stop rubbishing weddings because I've news for you. The wedding you were never going to have?
Yes, you definitely will let one person in long enough to learn what love is.
Stop telling everyone who'll listen that you hate kids and you'll never EVER have any because guess what?
Life doesn't always pan out the way you believe it will my dear 16 year old self. There will be even lower lows than the one you're wading through now, there will be worse storms ahead but take each day as it comes and you'll get through. Treat each day as a gift and never ever do something silly to endanger that, please.
Walk into a police station if any man OR woman lifts their hand to you. The very first time. Just walk the hell away. And don't look back.
Oh! Get your thyroid checked! Do not blow any wages on alcohol - it's really not worth it. SAVE.
By the way.... Your Holy Gothness, it *is* a phase (in your case anyway) so stop giving your parents so much crap for pulling you up on it. In fact, stop giving them so much grief full stop. They're grown adults with their own issues to work through so back off!
Just to round things off 16 year old self, you will be looking down the barrel of turning 28 one day. You actually make it there relatively unscathed. So I guess, no matter what, you get there.
Most importantly, stop snooping. You guess well half the time anyway so there's no need for snooping. Cut it out. Nothing good will come of it.
I probably heard the majority of that from one source or another when I was 16 but we really just don't listen do we?
I found this extremely therapeutic and though I haven't gone into too much detail, it is the world wide web after all, I still feel more at peace now than I did a half hour ago.
What would you say to your 16 year old self?
Sera
xo
God Sera you could have written that to me, right down to the 'I hate kids and love is crap and where is my black eyeliner' stuff. You've come a long way pet, lovely post xxx
ReplyDeleteomg u make me blub!!u and baby riley!omg too cute!!your doing so well!much love from me!!MAWH! you so brave!!!xx
ReplyDeleteDear Daisy,
ReplyDeleteWow, aren't you thin? Shush, you are. Size 16 is next to nothing, particularly when you compare it to almost size 30 which is what you'll be by the time you're my age.
How old am I? Oh ancient. Almost 47. So yeah, practically dead as far as you're concerned. You need to stop thinking that though, because the last 30 years have absolutely flown by for me as they will for you too.
The most important thing I'm here to tell you is this - be who you are. There is no need to try and be anything or anybody different.
It's pointless me telling you this of course. You will continue to try to be all things to all people, drowning under the weight of your perception of their expectation, for at least the next ten years.
Soon after that though, you will just wake up one morning and think "enough". Amd almost overnight your life will change. I wish I could make you come to that realisation sooner, but I guess everything you have to go through before then is what has shaped me into who I am - and who you will be.
It sounds trite to say "everything will turn out okay" - but it really will. You're never going to be rich, or famous, or wildly successful, but you will always have just about enough - enough money, enough love, enough hope, but never quite enough time, so make the most of every minute.
Pick your battles wisely, stand up for what you believe in. YOU really do only get one shot and this is not a rehearsal!
I wish I could protect you from some of the hurt that is coming your way, but it's enough to know that you are strong enough to deal with it.
Stop beating yourself up about the way you look. All your friends might be thinner than you, but go and ask them if they are all 100% happy with their looks. If they say they are, just give them a knowing look. No one is. We all have the little things we would like to change. We just have to make the best of what we've got - honey, sooner rather than later, stop draping yourself in maternity clothes. You're a teenager and you're not pregnant! Celebrate your curves. A sofa covered in the biggest plainest throw you can find is still a sofa - it is not going to blend into the background just because it's covered up.
People ARE going to stare at your ass - give them something to stare at!
If I was sensible, I would be sending you some lottery numbers that you would find pretty useful - but you and I both know that actually, neither of us are all that sensible and in my experience (and yours too as you will come to find out) - the best prizes are often the ones you weren't expecting.
Life has a funny way of dealing you a good hand every now and then - make sure you play your cards right.
Lots of love (yeah, I do love me - I know YOU don't right now, but you will)
Daisy. xxx
amazing chick!! It's amazing how effective this is, so easy but promotes amazing learning and self-awareness.x
ReplyDeleteThe responses from you guys and in general has been amazing! And Daisy <3 <3 <3 xx
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this :)
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