Don't worry I've some fantastic beauty and fashion fluff coming your way later this week but today has been a day of thinking. Days of thinking aren't great days usually. Lots of what ifs and the like but I thought I'd channel today onto the blog and then it's done. This blog was started as a therapy as such, to have my thoughts out of my head whether they were on fashion, beauty, doing up the house, my son or other issues. Sure that's what a blog is isn't it? Your own space to do with as you wish (within reason obviously)
This is a post I felt I needed and wanted to do today so I hope you'll all respect that. Did you know that this was anti-bullying week? With that in mind please be aware this post is not aimed at gaining sympathy, the actions are long past. This post is for me. To them.
I thought about putting a captial B there but there's no way I'm making that word any more important than it's already been in my life.
Do you remember me? I remember you. Just in case you may have forgotten let me remind you.
I was the girl you systematically bullied in High School. I was the girl you and your friend caught up with at the bottom of the school hill and it was my head you saw fit to bang off railings. I was the girl you and your friends cornered in the shopping centre and it was my face you all had a go at slapping. I was the girl you, your friends and some of their boyfriends chased to the bus depot and it was my hair you pulled out. Surely you remember those incidents...
Well here's to you.
Thank you for making sure I felt fear walking through the school doors every morning. Thank you for the mortification of being slapped in front of my fellow classmates. Thank you for that sinking feeling every time I had to walk down a corrider when I knew your class was emptying out at the same time. Thank you for every name you called me, every made-up rumour you whispered into ears, the pushing, the shoving, the spitting. You're one class act. Or rather you were one class act.
I presume you've matured now? Married? Maybe you've kids of your own? I'd like to know how you'd feel confronted with the situation my parents were. Do your loved ones know what hurt you're capable of inflicting?
So, if you've now remembered. Thanks.
In spite of all your efforts, I'm here. I smile. I laugh. I love.
You are wholly undeserving of the attention I've given you and these memories over the years for I bet you don't give me a second thought.
I'm finished thinking about you, I'm finished with the what ifs, I'm finished with the memories.
And because I can't think of a way to sign off on this letter, I'll leave it right here....