Have we all seen Mean Girls? If you have you'll be aware of the term Frenemy. The term harps right back to that age old saying
'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'
I've been reminiscing about a year ago, back to when I hadn't even considered blogging in this capacity, about Fashion, Style or beauty products, in fact, I probably would have laughed had someone suggested it at the time. Then I fast forward a year to the present day and I'm sat staring at my computer, jumping back and forth to different social networking sites contemplating the great meaning in life and all that jazz... I find myself thinking about this blog and how it's already opened so many doors for me whilst steadily being there as the fantastic outlet it started out as. In fact it's helped me grow as a person, without a doubt. The therapy blogging can provide is paramount to none I've experienced to date. For half an hour or so a day it gives me the perfect release from whatever issues I'm facing. It's a precious moment of escapism I have grown to really love and look forward to each day.
Whereas this is all lovey dovey and airy fairy there is a down side. Since beginning this blogging journey here I have also both experienced and watched the one certain trait that has been played out in books and movies throughout time.
Girl on girl hate.
I'm pretty sure you'll all know at least one girl who fits the bill. Is nice to a point and then it's cutting, catty and quite frankly rude comebacks to anything you have to say?
How do you deal with them?
I'm a trier. I normally, to an extent, will give the benefit of the doubt but more times than not I get stung. And more times than not I won't regret trying in the first place because it's who I am.
There are always going to be girls disliking other girls, what is truly concerning to me is about how personal we sometimes take these comments or events. Why do we let them affect us!? And there starts the circle of self esteem bottoming out.
Internet bullying, schoolyard bullying, it's all the same. It shouldn't be happening in our back gardens, our estates, our press, our schools, our blogging communities, our workplaces, social networking sites and I really could go on. The problem is extensive. It is rotting our sisterhood and I for one am fed up, sick and tired of seeing it, of experiencing it and to be honest of reading and watching it.
Been really catty lately? It's not big and it's not clever.
I'm done with girl on girl hate.
I agree blogging has for me been better than therapy and as I am Bipolar my blog has given me a place to start accepting what and who I am. As for blog haters I have had a few x
ReplyDeleteYou are right on so many levels. The mother in me wants to say it comes down to jealousy. That's the answer I'm programed to give my kids when someone is hateful. The snob in me wants to blame it on poor upbringing. Really not a nice response. Continue to do what you do despite the haters. My thought is that if they really hated it so much they wouldn't bother to read and comment. Without trying, you have become the center of their universe. I figure my haters must have rather dull lives if they are so obsessed with mine! :)
ReplyDeleteI totallY agree, well said. Vlogging and blogging has been amazingly theraputic to me also. So many bitches tho, (I shall say no more).
ReplyDeleteI've been lucky so far, and not been on the sharp end of anyone's stick (at least not knowingly), but I see it often enough.
ReplyDeleteI usually DM the 'victim' to see if they are okay - as sometimes there are more than 2 sides to the story!
But in most cases, I offer a 'booby squishy hug'.
I'm a lover, not a fighter, not really. But back me into a corner and I'll come out fighting.
Us girls get enough hate from men, the media etc, we don't need it from each other as well...
Peace and love,
K x
I completely agree. I think there will always be mean girls in every walk of life no matter how old we get. Blogging has been a wonderful therapy for me too and whilst I love the community that comes with it, I've started to notice in the last few weeks how there are definitely hierarchies.
ReplyDeleteI've made a conscious effort in the real world to weed out the girls who make those nasty comments too often for them to be considered a joke and in the last year I've noticed that the people who I spend most of my time with are the ones who are honest, kind and don't have time for bitchy nonsense!
I think you just have to hold your head up high, keep doing what you're doing and remember that they might get away with it now but it will always back to bite them on the bum eventually!
When I was younger I suffered what I think is an inordinate amount of bullying from groups of girls and women throughout my childhood and right into my early twenties both physically and online. (This online bullying was rather sinister because it was perpetrated by a person or persons unknown to me but who I'd come across in RL).
ReplyDeleteI've no idea why, perhaps being shy and self-conscious about various things including my appearance and having eyesight difficulties I was an easy target, but whatever the reasons behind it I do think it's adversely affected my relationships with women; I certainly don't keep many close confidantes and I rarely let anyone in, I'm also not great at dealing with problems with women, I'm more likely to back away than confront a woman about something whereas I'll quite happily tackle a bloke head on.
My experiences have made me an awful lot thicker skinned, though I'm unsure whether that's a good or a bad thing? Of course now I have it in me to think if you don't like me then it's not my problem and you can say what you like, but I shouldn't have had to go through what I did to get to this point. (& it doesn't always work because I still find myself feeling a little paranoid on occasion).
S x
Yes, there are mean girls. There are mean girls who like to fabricate stories and send abusive and intimidating messages online or via text. And when the intimidation doesn't work they turn around and claim that they are the victim in another pathetic attempt to gain sympathy.
ReplyDeleteDon't get sucked in by the lies of a delusional sociopath who depend on the internet for attention.
I typed out a MASSIVE comment and it vanished :(
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for people who have such a sad, pathetic, empty life that the only way for them to get a little entertainment is to write spiteful words on a screen.
Grow the hell up. "Anonymous" indeed - first lesson of the Internet - you're never as anonymous as you think you are.
So so glad to see so many replies on this post, it warms my heart that for every 1 or 2 catty girls there are a dozen nice and level headed ones. Yay for girl power! xx
ReplyDelete